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Appelt Park by ~evad:iconevad:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Nature > Open


A paper taped to the tree stated
that fishing was strictly forbidden
for two weeks so the river could be
repopulated with fish.

I'd rather have gone to the dam,
but I didn't realize it then.

Davor and I sat on a bench
watching this outdoor aquarium
while we smoked cigarettes,
talked music technology,
and cleared our heads of the week.

"If you took me out of my environment
and dropped me into a new one
with hundreds of strangers,
I'd probably bite
the first hook out of there
too."

"Probably," he says,
"Excellent metaphor, a poem in the works.
Write it down."

"Maybe, but
I don't really do that anymore."
©2005-2009 ~evad
:iconevad:

Author's Comments

.

Daily Deviation

Given 2005-10-23

This poet's gallery is full of literary snapshots that other people might discard as nondescript, but that's part of being a writer: taking the commonplace and giving it significance. Appelt Park by ~evad is just one example. (Featured by `imperfect)

Comments


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:iconcataplasia:
~cataplasia Apr 16, 2005, 1:55:20 PM
so many different types of undeveloped ideas in the world. After a while it just becomes all the same idea rehased. (or at least we think so) at least this works on the next level scooping the obvious onto a plate that finally we can see.
:iconsestevens:
!SEStevens Apr 17, 2005, 8:29:02 AM
I appreciate the layers of irony here, intended or unintended.
:iconadagiobreezes:
~adagiobreezes Apr 24, 2005, 6:49:51 PM
It's nice to see that you did it this once. I miss reading your stuff.
:iconinfrunitas:
=Infrunitas May 11, 2005, 5:36:54 PM
The structure of this is beautiful with it like the flow of the speaker's thoughts. This piece truly made me feel more human than anything i've read in a long long time (irony or not ^.^)

--
To twist one purest cause
Into an honest verse,
Itself, a call to angels.
The saddened lips of song that
Kiss away our innocence
From the vile mundane.
~justb
:iconbananaprincess:
`bananaprincess Oct 23, 2005, 12:11:52 AM
Congrats on the DD. I love the irony of the last line.

--
Critiquing someone's prose or poetry is an awesome thing to do.
:star:The supremely awesome Mimesis 3 is available now!
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
*ColdContactKiss Oct 23, 2005, 12:17:05 AM
The closing irony is indeed the clincher of this piece. Well done and congratulations.

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
:iconforbiddensnowflake:
!forbiddensnowflake Oct 23, 2005, 4:55:51 AM
others have pointed out the ironic closure, that's what I liked as well.

--
Well I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.
:iconinis:
~inis Oct 23, 2005, 4:59:44 AM
hehe

~inis

--
"the number you have dialled is imagery, please multiply by i and try again"
:iconicekweem:
~icekweem Oct 23, 2005, 5:42:58 AM
i don't know why, but that really made me think.

--
Pain is temporary. Film is forever. - Peter Jackson
:iconhellb:
~hellb Oct 23, 2005, 7:34:35 AM
Happy go lucky as she plays in the sun
Everything is nothing without a little fun
Invited to play on the swing set of spirit
She runs to his arms, so close but not near it
A field of life looms on the orang horizon
Long way to the swing, distance is corruption
Forced to make a journey to reach her goal
Now the first step, losing her innocent soul

I wrote this in class one day last week...it needs revision though
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April 15, 2005
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